is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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