If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize