I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
