and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
