you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
please come you make the beer taste better
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
