So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize