Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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