how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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