The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
