yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
