We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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