Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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