So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
