Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
