You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
whose ass print is on the piano?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
