Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
