Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
