i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I could make wine with my vomit
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
