I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
