I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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