to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
