were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
