so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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