adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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