Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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