I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
