I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
