hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
