the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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