Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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