Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
