This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
