I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Quick, to the slutcave!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
