wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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