I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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