everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You took a bar mat shot.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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