She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i think we sleep fucked last night...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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