Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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