I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
