It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
