BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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