were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize