Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
