I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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