So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
These tits shall not be calmed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
