I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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