Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
