dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize