8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My dick has a subreddit
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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