We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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