He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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