This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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