Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
