The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
