you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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