Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
