There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
