Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
