Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
