he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
