Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
